Carlton Cold

We wanted Carlton Draught but CUB won't ship it.

Crown Lager,

Just like Fosters but it's in a very flash bottle to make yuppies drink it.

BEER

What would an Aussie pub be without it. Here's a run down on our selection of Aussie, Kiwi and Safa beers (you won't find better).

Victoria Bitter

Tastes like piss but people seem to like it.

Tooheys Extra Dry

I'll never understand why some beers are popular.

Tooheys New

If Tooheys have been making this crap since 1931, how the hell is it new?

Hahn Premium

If only we could get Chuck Hahn's new beers, James Squire.

Coopers Sparkling Ale

Full of crap at the bottom, full of taste at the top. Mix it together to drink the crap. *

Coopers Pale Ale

Coopers sparkling's little sister. In other words..... girls beer.

Coopers Dark Ale

More crap at the bottom - More taste at the top. *

Little Creatures

Tastes great but why can't they make it in a bigger bottle?*

Speight's

Of all the beers we sell, speight's is defiantly one of them.

Steinlager

Because if they called it 'Kiwi Piss', no one would buy it.

Mac's Gold

It tastes choice eh bro but where the hell is the alcohol?

Bundaberg Rum.

Ok, so it's not a beer but we're not about to make a whole page just for one bloody product.

Castle Lager

I was going to make a joke relating to the movie of the same name but Safa's won't get it.

* (Webmasters note) I personally love Coopers and Little Creatures and couldn't bring myself to take the piss too much.